How to Care for Your Mental Health as a Parent

Parenting is a rewarding yet demanding role, and when you are also a caregiver for a child with a mental health diagnosis or a learning disability such as autism, those demands can feel even greater. As of 2024, approximately 329,000 children aged 0-17 have a learning disability in the UK (Mencap), whilst the UK is also revealed to have the highest autism rate in the world with 700-100,000 children diagnosed annually according to World Population Review. That’s an estimate of over half a million parents impacted every year. So, as we mark Parent Mental Health Day 2025 (27th January), we want to take a moment to acknowledge and support the parents who give so much of themselves to their children- whether young or grown.

According to Parentkind’s National Parent Survey of 2024, “more than 2 million (UK) parents have poor mental health”. That’s 1 in 5 parents. And, according to the NSPCC,” if parents are not getting the right support to care for their family (and their mental health), this can have an impact on their children’s well-being.”

Many parents focus entirely on the needs of their children, often neglecting their own well-being. However, as recent studies suggest, the better care you take of yourself, the better care you can provide for your children. Mental health is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Let’s explore why self-care is essential and practical; ways to fit it into your daily routine, and where to turn for support when you need it.

Why Mental Health Matters in Parents

Parenting and mental health are closely linked. When you are mentally and emotionally well, you are better equipped to handle the everyday challenges that come with caregiving. However, many parents-especially those caring for children with complex needs- struggle with parental depression, anxiety, and burnout.

A 2024 study by Barnardo’s UK concluded, “Almost 1 in 4 parents said they felt anxious all of the time, with almost 1 in 5 saying they felt overwhelmed all of the time.” Signs of poor mental health are more prevalent in women following pregnancy and during post-partum. These maternal mental health problems include PTSD (2 per 1,000), severe depression (30 per 1,000), anxiety (100-150 per 1,000) and post-partum psychosis (2 per 1,000) according to Mental Health Foundation UK.

Studies on fathers are equally concerning, with results summarised by the National Childbirth Trust in 2015 stating that “38% of first-time fathers are concerned about their mental health”, a number certain to have risen steeply in the last decade as the Father’s Network Scotland concluded in their 2024 Dad Survey that “Nearly half of all dads (48%) told us their mental health was either ‘not great’ or ‘very poor’—more than double the number in 2023. Additionally, the percentage of dads reporting the lowest mental health rating, ‘ very poor’, is steadily increasing from 6% in 2022 to 10% in 2024.”

Ignoring your own mental health doesn’t just affect you; it affects your family. Children, even adult children, can sense when a parent is overwhelmed or emotionally drained. By prioritising your mental well-being, you model healthy self-care and emotional resilience, teaching your children valuable life skills.

Small Acts of Self-Care

Caring for a child, or an adult child with additional needs can feel all-consuming, but it’s still important to set time aside for some much-deserved R and R:

–Set boundaries to prevent burnout and ensure you don’t stretch yourself too thin. Remember, it is okay to say no sometimes.

– Prioritise sleep as a lack of it can affect mood, cognition, and overall well-being. Why not create a bedtime routine that encourages restful sleep?

– Eat well and stay hydrated with proper nutrition that fuels the body and mind. Small changes, like drinking enough water and eating balanced meals, can improve your mental health.

– Moving your body is a proven mood booster, and even a short walk or stretching session can help to alleviate stress.

– Connect with others and avoid isolating yourself. Join a support group or reach out to friends who understand the situation.

– Seek professional help such as therapy or counselling when needed as talking to a mental health professional provides an outlet for your feelings and offers strategies to manage stress.

Making Time for Yourself as a Parent

Time is often the biggest barrier to self-care. With so many responsibilities, how do you carve out moments for yourself? Here are some strategies:

Schedule self-care like you would an appointment by setting aside dedicated time for relaxation, hobbies, or exercise.

Start small; even 5 minutes of deep breathing, meditation, or reading can make a difference.

Utilise respite services, if available, to take a break from caregiving duties.

Encourage independence by getting your child to participate in activities that give you a moment of peace.

Delegate tasks and accept help when offered. Do not be afraid to ask for assistance from family, friends, or community services.

It is Okay to Be Selfish

Referring to the National Parent Survey from Parentkind, the greatest worries of UK parents in the past year include not having enough time to input into their mental health and well-being around juggling work, home, and intense caring responsibilities, all whilst trying to be a “good” parent.

Many parents feel guilty when they take time for themselves, but self-care is not selfish- it is essential. You are not neglecting your child by prioritising your well-being; you are ensuring that you have the energy and mental clarity to be the best parent and caregiver you can be.

Think of it like an oxygen mask on a plane. You must put on your own mask before helping others!

Resources for Parents Struggling with Mental Health

If you are struggling with your mental health, remember that you are not alone. There are numerous resources available to help you:

Mind – Support for mental health challenges including stress, anxiety, and depression.

Carers UK – Advice and support for unpaid caregivers.

Rethink Mental Illness – Support for those affected by mental illness.

The National Autistic Society – Support and guidance for families caring for individuals with autism.

The Brain Injury Association (Headway) – Support for families affected by brain injuries.

Samaritans – 24/7 emotional support for anyone struggling.

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” – Sydney J. Harris

When life feels overwhelmingly busy, that is precisely when you need to embrace well-being the most. It may seem impossible to pause amidst all your responsibilities, but even micro-sized moments of rest and self-care can make a dramatic difference. By acknowledging your own needs and taking time to recharge, you ensure that you can continue to provide the love and support your child needs. This Parent Mental Health Day, take a moment to step back, breathe, and remind yourself that your well-being matters too.