This worrying insight makes us question our place on the self-esteem scale. Do we believe we deserve happiness, success and respect from others? Or have we become too used to the negative effects of a self-esteem slump?
Simply put, self-esteem is how we perceive and value ourselves. It is a healthy mix of self-respect and self-confidence that, no, does not make us arrogant or self-absorbed for adopting. Instead, high self-esteem is about having a balanced and realistic view of yourself, your strengths, and your weaknesses.
So how do we know we have low self-esteem? This can manifest as self-doubt, insecurity, or a tendency to undervalue your worth. It can make tasks feel overwhelming and lead to challenges in personal and professional relationships.
Low self-esteem can stem from various factors including:
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) such as excessive criticism, neglect, and unrealistic expectations can all lead to a fragile sense of self-worth in adulthood. A 2014 nationally representative study conducted in England revealed that 47% of people experienced at least one ACE with 9% of the population having four+ ACEs, increasing their risk of mental health difficulties in formative years.
Experiencing physical, emotional, or psychological trauma can severely impact one’s self-esteem. This is especially true if the trauma occurred over an extended period or involved someone else and often, victims prefer to stay silent than come forward due to a lack of self-worth reinforced by the abuser.
In a world dominated by social media, it’s easy to compare yourself to people online. However, this often leads to feelings of inadequacy, and these polished, curated lives on our screens can make us feel like we’re falling short. Shockingly, as much as 10% of our thoughts involve comparisons of some kind, a percentage set to grow in this digital age.
Of course, we all like to be the best versions of ourselves we can be, but setting impossibly high standards for yourself and focusing on flaws can prevent you from recognising your achievements, further lowering your self-esteem.
Conditions like anxiety and depression can severely impact self-confidence, creating a cycle where low self-esteem contributes to worsening mental health and vice versa. 86% of people in the UK feel stressed at least one day a month with as few as 10.4% taking medication and 3% seeking psychological treatments that could help them manage stress and tackle self-esteem issues.
Having healthy self-esteem is crucial for overall well-being. It allows you to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and a sense of purpose. When you possess self-assurance and project confidence, you’re more likely to take risks, form meaningful relationships, and achieve your goals.
Low self-esteem, however, can act as a barrier to success. It can make you overly self-critical, fearful of failure, and hesitant to seize opportunities. Over time, this can lead to a cycle of negative thinking that reinforces feelings of inadequacy.
Though it takes time and consistent effort, improving self-esteem is a rewarding journey. Here are some practical tips to help you get started:
Low self-esteem often stems from negative self-talk. Start by identifying and challenging these thoughts. For example, if you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough”, counter it with evidence that proves otherwise.
The NHS recommends taking note of negative thoughts, writing them on a piece of paper or in a diary. The next steps are to identify when these negative beliefs began, then write down thoughts that challenge them, such as “I’m really good at sports” and “My family makes sure to call me every day”. Follow with more positive thoughts such as “I’m considerate” or “I’m someone people enjoy spending time with”, you can include positive things other people have said about you. Aim for at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly, then keep your list somewhere you can see it to keep negative beliefs at bay.
This can create a sense of accomplishment however important the task. Try breaking larger tasks like a deep spring clean, an art project or if your mental state is especially low, your regular morning routine into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way.
Instead of fixating on your weaknesses, take time to acknowledge and nurture your strengths, whether it’s a skill, talent, or a positive trait, focusing on what you do well can boost your confidence.
The company you keep plays a significant role in shaping your self-esteem. Spend time with people who uplift and encourage you, and distance yourself from those who bring negativity into your life. Can you think of someone who makes a positive impact on your mental health? Try to make plans to spend time together soon.
Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during difficult times. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and that setbacks are part of the learning process. Nobody’s perfect after all!
Learning something new can provide a sense of accomplishment and enhance your self-assurance. Consider taking up a hobby or enrolling in a course that interests you. Some great options include joining a runner’s club, attending a cookery class, or taking up a craft like knitting. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can be incredibly beneficial for those struggling to improve self-esteem on their own. CBT therapists can help you identify underlying causes of low self-esteem, provide strategies for building self-confidence, and reframe negative thought patterns into more positive ones. Click here to find NHS-recommended services for mental health.
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https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/raise-low-self-esteem/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/social-comparison-theory
https://www.ciphr.com/infographics/workplace-stress-statistics
